Terrible Lie
by SlashObsessed420
Summary: Set after 3x06 centering around Ian and Mickey and what comes next for them.
1. In my head

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless

Authors note: SPOILERS for 3x06 don't read if you haven't seen it!

Set the morning after Terry Milkovich's surprise early return. Mickey and Ian thoughts.

Chapter 1: In my head

Mickey POV

The thoughts screaming in my head could bring to tears almost any guy but I didn't shed a tear. I didn't cry when I got shot- either time. I didn't cry when my dad beat my face in for catching me doing the one thing that a Milkovich can NEVER do. And I sure as hell didn't cry when I saw Ian's face as that Russian slut was riding the gay out of me. But I wanted to each time. I'm Mickey Milkovich though so I can't do it.

Laying here in my bed thinking about crying was still pretty damn crazy if you knew anything about me. But I guess I have broken a lot of my own rules lately. All for that fucking Gallagher. Fuck I just want to scream but I don't want to wake the blacked out Terry snoring in the front room. So i just take some pills and try to shut my mind the fuck up and the pain in my face. And of course my first thoughts go to Ian. what am I supposed to do? What am I going to say to him? How are we going to get past this?

Wait I already know just cut him loose before he ruins everything. All he has brought me is trouble. Yeah he would just fuck it and leave it be. I could find another job and stick to chicks from now on and it will fix it all... but .. but what? That kiss the "date" they had it all filled my mind and I couldn't even think anymore. Fuck! Why can't these drugs kick in already?! I couldn't just leave it. I couldn't leave him. It was hard the first time around. _You're nothing but a warm mouth._ The words echoed in my head and I almost wanted to cry again. God why the hell am I feeling shit for him. I tried to ignore it for too long and now it was overpowering. Was it love? Fuck I can't even believe I thought that and I would never be able to say it out loud so really what could I offer him? Nothing but maybe that's just a terrible lie. But love? The last thought before I was in a not so blissful sleep.

Ian POV

This shit is going to kill me. Playing around in the slop they called breakfast was more fun than eating it. I can feel Lips eyes on me well more on my face. I didn't give any explanation when I came in late to work yesterday. Even though Linda was pissed and Lip was worried. Thank God she signed my papers so I didn't get in trouble for all the time I was unaccounted for. But Lip knew he shouldnt try to push me but he could also tell that I wasnt ok. How was I supposed to be ok? My world just got fucked up.

I knew how it would play out. I would never see him again. That is just who he is. He would never risk it again. Ever since Mickey kissed me I fell even more in love with him because at that moment I knew that it wasn't completely one-sided. He felt something. And then we actually hung out together and spent the night together and it was all different. Like an unspoken agreement. Don't bring up the feelings we have just enjoy it. And I was well until Terry. Until I saw Mickey being forced to fuck some hooker.

My face must have given my thoughts away because I felt Lips's had on my back. "Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me. Lets worry about Fiona's hopefully good news so we can get the hell out of here"

"Is that what it is? You worried that she isn't going to come through? Cuz you know she is doing every-"

"It's not ok I trust her. Just leave it."

"What happened at Mickey's?" Shit how did he even know where I was. I didn't tell him. I guess it wasnt hard to figure out. Shock written on my face I look at him not hiding my pain.

"I cant right now ok." He must have got it because he slapped my shoulder as he got up to go meet Fi before his community service. I composed myself before following suit.

"What the hell happened?" Fiona yelled as soon as she saw me. "Which one of those little fuckers did this?"

"It wasnt any of them ok and don't worry I can take care of myself ok?" I didnt mean to be cold but I cant do this shit right now. I turn away from her and walk towards the bus stop. Lip yells for me but I just ignore it.


	2. Fixing Shit

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless I just fucking love the show. Rated M because well duh it's Shameless and also I'm a potty mouth.

Chapter 2: Fixing Shit

Mickey POV

Fuck only an hour of sleep. Shit might as well get up. Terry should still be asleep but if not it should be ok. After fucking that bitch multiple times I think I convinced him that I'm no fag. But if he knows I'm leaving then shit will hit the fan but I have to work. Well I don't HAVE to work I have to see Ian. But what the hell am I going to say? Guess I'll figure it out when I'm there but fuck I hope I don't close up when I see him.

Navigating through the house with swollen eyes was a little hard but being quiet was easy. Practice makes perfect and in this house there is a lot of tiptoeing around especially in the morning. First thing I have to do is go to Angie's. Yep I have to go fuck her and make sure people know it. Bragging about fucking the easy fat chick. It's not that hard being "into" fucking woman as long as I thought about cock. Well one specific cock now days. Just another terrible lie I guess.

Now I'm across the street from Kash and Grab acting like a little pussy. What am even thinking? We can't do this anymore. HE knows and it will never be safe again. If anything happens to Ian because of me I would lose my shit. But to just never see him again just up and abandon him? Could I do that? No I can't this time. I can't go get locked up again than Ian would be unprotected. If he ran into my dad he might kill him. Just watching him hit Ian was hard. But as soon as I was on his back I knew I would be his focus. I'm glad I got most of his wrath because Ian doesn't deserve this. Or me.

It took me at least 45 minutes to get up the nerve to see him but the moment I walked in and our eyes met my shield was up. I turn the opposite way of him and wonder the isles idly before going to the back and clocking in, ganking a red bull on my way. Leaning against the counter in silence till he breaks it.

"Are you ok?" It's almost a whisper. An instinctual grunt escapes me. Coughing I try again. "I mean yeah my face is fine if that's what you mean."

"It's not what I mean. Is everything ok with you? And your dad? What happened after he kicked me out?" He is rambling and all I want to do is shut him up with some dick head remark but I bite my lip to stop myself. That's not what I need to do. So I go on impulse. I look around thoroughly before finally turning to him leaning over the counter and kissing him. I taste blood. My blood. Damn I bit my lip too hard. I hope he doesn't mind. I step away fidgeting. It was easier last time because I got to walk away and rob a house so there was no awkwardness. I hear the ding of the door. Customer shit that was close. I turn and see Mandy her face full of anger and worry.

"What the fuck?! Mickey I didn't know you were fucked up too!" She turns to Ian reaching for his face only to get shooed away. "Mandy it's nothing really." She doesn't buy it. She tuns to me anger as all hell. "Did you do this? Did you two get into or something?! Lip told me it had something to do with you so tell me what happened NOW!"

"I didn't do fuck all! As you can see my face is fucked up worse. If we were going at it he wouldn't have been so lucky!" And of course Ian has to jump in. "Just tell her Mick." I freeze on the spot. What the hell how dare he do this shit now. Turning to him yelling instantly is a reflex. "Shut the fuck up Gallagher before I shut your mouth for you!"

"Go ahead but it will make you no better than your fucking dad!" My mind starts screaming at me again to fix it all but there ain't shit I can do. "Fuck you!" I scream it as I start punching the counter. Mandy is right there by my side now trying to calm me down. Ian's yelling but I can't make out the words. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. I finally stop.. my hand going straight to my face. It's a goddamn tear. Holy shit really? I really am a fucking faggot. My voice is hoarse when I finally speak." I-I can't... but you can. I have shit to do. I'm sorry I gotta go." Heading to the door I stop to hear him say "Are you coming back?" It was more of a plead than a question. I don't answer. I can't. Walking out all I can think is there is only one way to fix things. Terry fucking Milkovich.

Ian POV

All I can feel is dread as he walks out. I hope he doesn't go and do something stupid. I was surprised as hell when he showed up here at all. I was wrong. He isn't going to retreat again but what is he going to do? probably something stupid. Can there even be a happy ending for us? No of course not he is Mickey. I can't forget that or I will be hurt all over again. _Done is done. What you think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me_. I can't think about that now Mandy's eyes are throwing daggers my way. I take a deep breath and turn to her. "Your dad did this to us."

Her eyes go up in shock. "What? No he wouldn't hurt Mickey that much. I mean yeah he has hit us before but never like that. And where do you fit in with this? Dad was supposed to out-of-town and Mickey was having some chick over last time I heard."

I hesitate first but I say it "He wasn't having a chick over... He was having me over. That's where I went last night when I snuck out of that hell hole. Your dad came home early and he didn't like what he walked in on." I didn't look at her. I didn't want to know what her face showed as I finally told her something I have kept from her for ..what well over a year now. "What you guys are fucking?!" I didn't say anything just nodded. " What the hell?! This is what you have kept from me. The guy that you love but you think hates you. The same guy that you cheated on Kash with. My own brother?!" She stopped catching her breath and slid to the floor. "And dad saw this and you two are still walking?"

"For now." My voice trying to be teasing but came out more scared than anything. Getting up she wraps here arms around me before I can even react. "Don't think i'm not pissed about this but right now we have more pressing issues. I'll kick your ass later." It made me laugh. The first laugh that came out of me since the disasters of last night. She let go after smacking the back of my head but not hard enough to hurt. "So Mickey is gay? Wow I didn't see that one coming. I can't believe he didn't trust me with this. So how exactly are you guys still alive anyway?"

"I don't think it was because he doesn't trust you. He doesn't want people knowing who he is. He can't deal with it. And as for how we survived that psycho.. well after beating our faces in and holing a gun on me he called in the russian." Her face was confused as mine was when I heard Terry on the phone. I almost thought he was calling in a hit man because he didn't want to kill us himself. "A hooker. To fuck Mickey straight while I watched." She kicked something that had fallen off the counter at some point during the drama. "That is fucked!" I have never seen her face like this before. "He has done so much worse than fucking a guy and he isn't even held accountable. He is fucking me and Mickey up mentally and that stops NOW!" She stalks towards the door in the same manner as Mickey. Shit what is she thinking? Yelling for her to come back isn't helping. Shit now it's two Milkovichs leaving with that same murderous look of intent on their faces.

A/N. It's going to be a couple of days before I post my next chapter.


	3. Rage

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless.

Chaper 3: Rage

Mickey POV

I don't know what I'm going to do but it has to be something. My mind just can't stop racing long enough for to think coherently as I pace back and forth in my living room. Trying to calm my shit down and force myself to sit on the empty couch. Yep Terry was gone and my room was turned over. I guess he didn't really believe that bitch rode the fag out of me and me being gone when he woke pissed him off. But I had to go. No wait I didn't. Why am I even trying to fix things again? Not sure when I started pacing again but I need a smoke so I force my self down again.

The burning smoke helps. I already feel calm well for a minute. Then Mandy barges in. I look away the moment I see the anger in her eyes. Shit Ian told her. Well I guess I did tell him to but I wasn't really in my right mind when I said it. "Where is he?" Her voice is cold. Is it for me or him? "Gone when I got back." She sighed and flopped down on the couch visibly relaxing.

"I get it Mickey. You lied to me and I'm angry but I understand because I know you and this is big for you. But right now there had to be complete trust from now on. On both parts..." She hesitates. I was prepared for her to be a bitch but I get another vibe off her. She looks scared when I finally look into her eyes. "I need you to tell me about Ian." I tense and look away. This isn't what I need right now. I get up to leave but I already now she isn't going to let it go. "I mean it Mickey because I need to be honest with you about something and I can't be until it is mutual. Trust Mickey we have always had that. Please. You're the only one I can lean on so why can't you lean on me."

I can't dispute anything she is saying but she wants to tell me something and I have to give her something I have never talked about with anybody. Secrets have always been easy but the truth?That is hard. I shut my mind out and the thoughts screaming at me to run from the emotions I hold. I feel my face being so obvious as the mask slides. "He came in my room with a crowbar to get his boyfriends gun back. The fight led to fucking and we had a good arrangement going for a while. But he is a little persistent fuck that wanted more so I ended it by telling him he was nothing but a warm mouth to me. I saw how hurt he was and I felt like shit. Even when I said it I was lying. When I got out juvie things changed."

"So you're in love with him?" Bam mask back. Laughing for a little dramatic effect. "Did I fucking say anything about that shit? No so don't assume shit. Just because I'm a fag doesn't mean I'm going to be some little bitch of a queen spreading out picnics and shit."

"Cut the shit Mickey you wouldn't do any of this if you didn't. I know you remember. He has gotten under that fat thick skin of yours and made you feel so go ahead and say whatever homophobic crap you want. But don't lie straight to my face. I saw the way you talked about him and that wasn't a lie." Fuck I made it worse. Whatever it's all kind of fucked at this point anyway. Terry has seen to that. "Fine! Ok fuck maybe I still havn't come to terms with my own shit yet. I know emotionally stunted and shit right. Isn't that what you used to say? And yeah Ian made me feel sit but to say the word? It's final and I can't take it back. I won't have an escape plan if I can't bring myself to.. you know escape!"

"You two can be happy. He just wants you and he knows exactly who you are and he loves you. How many people love like that? Not many so you need to"... " Yeah, yeah and what about dad? He isn't going to just forget this."

"Mickey I have to.. I NEED to tell you something.. about Dad. Your not going to like it. I.. You remember after mom died and dad became more violent you said that if he hurt me to let you know. To tell you if he ever hit me? Well he never did. But he would come home piss drunk and he would sit on my bed and tell me how much I looked like her. How much Mom showed in me and that he wanted to show me ho.. how special that made me." The sobbing overcame her before she could say the words and I was right by her side holding her up as she started to fall. My mind went into overdrive. He touched my little sister. He TOUCHED Mandy?! That fucking dick head was dead. Rage is all I have right now.

Ian POV

Fiona and Frank are arguing about parental rights. At least it's at the Alibi where there are booze around. Getting Kev to get shots for us all is my only concern. Hoping that getting Frank drunk might help in the persuasion. Shit Terry Milkovich is in the back of the bar. I turn around instantly just in case he saw me. Shit what am I supposed to do? I chance a glance back. His back is turned from everybody and he is wobbly. Drunk as shit and wants to be alone. Good maybe its my lucky day for once. Takeing my shots back to the table I think how all us Gallaghers in here at once was pretty strange. Its been a while since we were like this. Lip and Fiona are talking away from everybody so now is my chance. "Hey Fi? I uh.. um i'm sorry about earlier. I should have stayed to talk to you.."

Her face softens. "Its ok really but you know you can talk to me right? We shouldnt keep secrets." Damn the wounded card. "I-I know but sometimes we just kind of need space too. It's not about wanting to keep things from you it's about wanting to keep something to myself and sometimes talking about it doesn't help."

"Is this about a guy?" I hear Lip grunt and I give him a sharp look. "Wait you know what this is about? So that crap about needing space only applies to me now?"

"No it's just complicated ok and I can't talk about it. With either of you. And no I havent talked to Lip about anything that has been going on in my life right now because its my life and its stuff I need to sort out."

"Ok just one question.. are you still seeing Jimmy's dad?" I see Jimmy out of the corner of my eye listening intently. Its him that wants to know. "No I'm not. That as been over for a while now. And I'm sorry by the way." Looking over at Jimmy.. "I know it's messed up but I didn't know who he was and when I found out I just ignored it so I wouldn't have to think about it." He just nods and smiles, an understanding. Good I'm glad I cleared the air. I feel relief well for a second. I hear the door crash open and see Mickey walk in with something I have honestly never seen on his face. Yeah I have seen him mad, angry, pissed whatever its all the same but this was hostile. Everybody quiets down and soon all eyes are on him. I looks at his dad. He still hasn't moved. I see Mickey follow my line of vision. He is fast on his feet. The moment he reaches the bar he picks up a stool in one swift movement. Gaining momentum towards his target before he reaches up and crashes it down over the back of his dads head sending him crumpled to the floor.


	4. Damage Control

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless

Chaper 4: Damage Control

Mickey POV

I am getting so tired of all the screaming that goes on in my head. My head hurts from the anger bubbling inside me. But the moment I walked into The Alibi my head cleared. It was like one of the stupid fucking moments of clarity that people claim they have but it never really changes anything. I look and see Ian and my heart starts beating even harder as I see where he is looking. Shit dad and Ian in the same room. It's all instinct. I don't even think about it. The moment I see the stool it hits me that I need more than my fist. He is stronger than me. It all happens in a flash. I see him fall to floor but he is still conscious. Just confused and in pain. "What the fuck?!" Its kind of slurred but I don't give him a chance. I kick and hear myself shout not even thinking about the few bar stragglers. "You fucking pervert!" Kick. " You like fucking your own daughter you sick fuck?!" Kick. "You fucking ass-hole!" Kick.

Amidst all the kicking and screaming I hear Mandy. When the hell did she get here? I look over and Ian is hugging her while she cries. "Don't kill him Mickey please! You can't go to jail please?!" She says with desperation. I hear her words but they don't register. I look into Ian's eyes and I try to calm down. I can't leave either of them can I? No but I don't get any further than that. I feel Terry punch me in the back of the head. Shit my vision goes in and out and I stumble to the ground. "The little faggot has some strength huh?!" Terry laughs and it sounds creepy and deep-throated. "Come on pussy boy!" He kicks me hard in my ass and It hurts like a bitch. Right in the damn bullet hole. I groan out in pain loudly. "I thought you liked in the ass!"

What the fuck did he just yell? I block out the pain as I get up faster than I expected and kick as high as I can hitting him in the side of his head. Not stopping there though. That would have only ended badly. I kick him in his junk and he drops. I kick him in his face, in his back and anywhere else I can reach. Don't know how many times I lost count. He is in a lot of pain by now but fucking still conscious. Barely though so I stop and take a deep breath. Looking around I see the oldest Gallagher and some guy holding onto a couple of kids. The youngest ones I'm assuming. Lip now has Mandy. She is no longer crying at least. The dude with long hair and the freaky black chick are there beside them. My eyes finally reach where I am searching. Ian. I have to see if he is going to be ok. All I see is worry in his eyes. For me, for him and for us. Terry can't die I would go to prison.

I look to see the few drunk ass people who are here including Frank. I take the gun from my waist and in the deadliest voice I have ever heard come from me I yell "Nobody saw or heard a fucking thing did they?!" Silence. Yeah it worked. "Now get the fuck out of here! NOW!" Frank and the rest of them left quickly. The rest of the Gallaghers where still at the bar. It wasn't directed towards them. I didn't even think about kicking them out. I don't know why. I turn back to Terry. Kneeling down and grabbing a fist full of his hair I shove the gun in his face. "If you ever even talk to Mandy ever again I will kill. The whole family knows what you did. You are no longer credible so anything that you say has no merit." I go to get up but I stop. "Oh and if you ever fucking touch Ian again and I will shoot you in the fucking face instead!" I raise the gun with the butt facing up and slam it in his face. See how he likes that fucking feeling.

Mandy is at my side instantly. I hug her like I have never hugged her before and I tell her it will be ok. Not even sure in my mind if I am telling the truth or not. I let go so she can go back to Lip. He seems good for her. He better fucking be at least. She deserves that. But do I? I look at Ian and walk slowly toward him. Hesitant if I am even doing the right thing. I search his eyes for anything that has changed his views of me. I see something. A look. No THE look. It makes my heart flutter. Really that sounds so fucking gay. But I guess I am pretty gay. I go in for a kiss slowly so I can say "Say a word about it and I will cut your fucking tongue out." right before our lips meet. It was better than the others. More feelings going into it and it being less awkward than before helped. Separating as I remembered that people were watching. They better not say a fucking word about it either. They must have got the message because nobody did.

Ian POV

He kissed me again. The same shit eating grin I gave Mickey when I visited him at Juvie is on face I can feel it. It's completely involuntary because I am just so fucking happy right now. Mickey just fucked up his dad somewhat on my behalf and the rest because of Mandy. He deserved everything he got and more. I look over to his dad laying on the floor bleeding. "What now?" I look back at Mickey with questioning eyes that are really asking what is going to happen to us? But Mickey eyes are back to being guarded. To many people around. He let enough emotions show in front of too many people so he wasn't doing it again.

"Now I have to go talk to some family. I kind of jumped the gun telling him that everybody knows what a fucking disgusting perv he is. Plus I gotta find a place to stay because I'm pretty sure I'm homeless now. And damage control. Say he fucked my face up when I found about Mandy and he'll say anything to try to get out of this." My face falls. Why is he being distant? Even as he talked he backed away like we were far too close for comfort. But that is all it was for me. Comfort. Micky Milkovich the slightly crazy neighbourhood thug. Yep he is my comfort. His back turns to walk out and I get an idea. I hope Fiona will not be pissed. "W-wait.. we are going back home today. Frank is signing his rights over. If you need a place I mean.. y-you could crash there." I see him hesitate back still turned to me. I already know the answer before he says it. "Don't think so Firecrotch." And he is out the door.

_Firecrotch._ It was his way of telling me it will be fine. Mandy pats my shoulder "I have to get out of here before HE wakes up." Shoving a finger towards her dad with a look of pure hate. Lip follows her out before asking if I was ok. I was pretty ok considering the last two days have been so crazy so I shake me head and yell him to get the hell out. Joking of course.

Silence surrounded the bar. Fiona was the first to say anything. "Soo.. it was Terry that did that to your face then?" I don't really want to go into details of how we got out of that crazy situation but I have to say something. "Yeah he did but we won't have to worry about him anytime soon." I chuckle but it sounds forced. "So Mickey huh? Well that is pretty crazy all by itself. How did that happen? And how long has it been going on?"

"Fi you really don't have to worry. I know how he seems but he really is a different person when it's just us. And it's been a while now. Since before he went to juvie the first time. At first is was just for fun but now it's I-I can't describe it ok but it's good and it makes me happy." She looks worried still and she just can't keep her concerns to herself. "You love him don't you? And that is what worries me. Do you really think he feels that way about you? And asking him to move in? I mean really what was that? Not to mention that he was in Juvie. Twice!"

Shit this just pisses me off. "You don't know shit! He went to juvie because of me. Both times so it wasn't his fault. And you don't know how he feels about me. He feels enough to jump on his dads back and take a beating just so I wouldn't have to! He feels enough to still be here even after all he crap that has happened. I kind of screwed up his life actually and he is still here! Maybe he doesn't love me like I love him but I don't care! It's enough for me to just have him!"

I walk out not bothering to hear what she has to say about my outburst not realizing that Terry was conscious and heard every word of it. Finally reaching the house after walking around for hours I can tell everybody is back and it is chaotic inside. I missed it though I just hope everything is fine between me and Fiona. I hear footsteps shit I get scared and I spin around to see who it is ready just in case. I stop. "Mickey?" He is smiling ." Relax it's just me." Doing his famous thumb over lip move I see him do a lot. "What are you doing here?" He steps closer and he hesitates. "What? Surprised. You said if I needed a place to crash right?" My damn shit eating grin returns.


	5. Simple as That

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless.

Chaper 5: Damage Control

Mickey POV

I could have probably stayed with almost any member of the Milkovich family. Well most of them anyway but I didn't want to. I gathered them all up so I only had to do it once. Well all except for Iggy. I left though because I just couldn't stand to be there any longer. After aimlessly walking around I realize I'm at the fucking Gallagers. Shit this isn't where I wanted to go. Is it? Well too late I see him and I can't turn back. So why not. He looked scared at first. Shit he thinks I'm Terry doesn't he? "Mickey?"

"Relax it's just me." Hesitant to say the words I step closer knowing the closeness would help me say it. "What surprised? You said if I needed a place to crash right?" He doesn't say anything just walks to the door and stops turning back to me. Looking around before holding his hand out to me. Shit he wants me to take it. It seems like his hand stayed there forever. Just waiting as I hesitate some more. It seems like it's all I ever do anymore. So fuck it I walk up and take it. He doesn't even seem to care that it took me a little time.

The house was pure chaos when we walked in but it turned silence pretty fast. Lip and Mandy were on the couch cuddling. The other kids all stopped playing some loud annoying game to stop and look too. The oldest peering in from the kitchen. Shit I need to get the hell out of here but I feel Ian's hand tighten hard around mine and pulling me toward the stairs. Pretty much saying lets run up instead of out. So we go as fast as we can not saying a word to anyone. Reaching his room he shuts and locks the door. He pushes me up against it smiling. It's like a weight as been lifted. Terry was taken care of and I was here with him no longer hiding. Well not hiding from people close to him. It's not like i will ever fucking let it be pubic knowledge but this I could live with. Nobody will say anything.

Fucking as quietly as possible was easy we have had to before. Me pressed up on door face first making it bang and shake was the loud part. But we finished. Fast and erratic is what we wanted. Taking our aggression out with fucking was always amazing. Getting dressed and sitting to share a smoke and a blunt was our form of a cuddle. Sitting on his bed after, Ian finally speaks. "I love you Mick." And I just wish he never fucking said it. I can't even describe how fucked I am now. I knew he loved me but I just couldn't hear these words right now. It's too permanent. "You don't have to say anything I just had to tell you."

What am I going to do now? Don't know because there is banging on the door. Its Mandy. "Mickey get the hell out of there Iggy is here!" Oh fuck. I grab my shoes fast and am already unlocking the door when Gallagher goes to follow but I stop him. "Wait just.. stay here ok?" He is confused. "Please just do this." He stays. Going down I see Iggy talking with Lip by the door. Damn how did he know I would even be here. "Hey, douchebag what you doing?" Walking past and standing by the couch Mandy was sitting at.

"Just came after I talked to my mom. It was pretty messed up you know?" Oh that is why he was there. Thank God. "Yeah it was." I hear the stairs. Shit Ian. Can't even listen to me. I don't look his way though just in case. He stands at the bottom step. Iggy shifts his feet before continuing. "Yeah its so fucked. I just don't t know how somebody could do that you know? To family. To be a fucking lying bastard. But then you have always been a liar. Well and a fucking fairy."

Oh come on what the fuck? Terry! "What the fuck did you just say?" My guard back up and inches from feeling the all to similar fight intsinct."Come on Mickey I have known for years.!" He yells it and laughs. "Just like I knew that daddy Terry was fucking poor "innocent" Mandy!" More laughter. What the fuck did he say? He knew. Already in motion toward him I don't reach him before a knife slides out of a sleeve and plunges in to Ian's stomach in one swift move.

Ian POV

I can't just stay in here I have to know what is going on . So fuck it I go down the stairs. Not really listening to what Iggy is saying until I hear it. He knew. I want to hit him but I leave it to Mickey. It all happened fast I felt it. Pain something to sharp in my gut. Grunting and falling backwards I hear a crash. Mickey tackled him. Lip is here now phone to his ear and I hear Fiona. Fuck the pain is shooting through out my body. I look down . Fuck a knife. I hear them fighting but I don't look. I grab for the knife but am stopped. I look up in to Fiona eyes. My eyes fog but I shake my head to focus.

I have to know what is happening. Leaning forward slightly I look to see Mickey bruised ap and bloody with a lot of cuts all over his body . Not stabbed though he will be fine. Iggy is laying on the floor. Mickey has him pinned down and a knife in his hand. He had another knife? "Why the fuck would you do this?!"

Iggy looks cold when he says it. "Terry wanted me to take him out. He ruined your life so he wanted him out of it. Simple as that." Shit Mickey better not kill him or we will fucked. "Mick don't.. k-kill." I cough when the pain jolts though me. Groaning some more I try again. "Ian no stop the ambulance is on its way you will be fine. You hear me? Just fine." Fiona's voice isn't reassuring as she clutches my stomach with a red towel. Wait no the red is my blood. I look at Mandy she has Carl and Debbie holding them in place crying. I look over to see Mickey face stomp Iggy untill he was unconscious and he is there by my side in instant.

"Ian.. oh God! Why did you.. Oh fuck its going to be ok Firecrotch. Where the hell is the ambulance?" Fiona pushes Mickey. "You did this?! This is all your fucking fault!" She starts to hit him in the chest so I try to get up again but it hurts all over again. "Ah fuck stop!" Its force brought tears to my eyes. Letting out a strangled cry as I let the tears flow. But it makes them stop so it was worth it. Micky pushes Fiona back and kneels down to me. He runs his finger under eye wiping my tears. Its strange but I love it.

"Hey its going to be ok. It has to you know because you told me you loved me so y-you can't go anywhere." His hands are on cheeks and our eyes are locked. "You know I do right? You know it. That I l-love you too right?" Tears fall from his eyes as he says it. Mickey Milkovich just told me he loves me. It's what I have wanted for forever and I can't say anything as my vision blurs and everything goes blank.


	6. Death and Love

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless

Chapter 5: Death and Love

Ian POV

I felt like I was dying when my eyes open to bright lights rushing past me so fast I wanted to throw up. A guy in a mask? Oh it's the hospital. I feel the breath knocked out of me in an instant followed by loud erratic beeping. "He is coding!" is what I hear before it is all black again. It feels cold and empty but I wake up what seems like two seconds later. Did I die? Looking around I see Lip and Fiona. She hugs me as hard as she can. "Oh thank God Ian we thought we were going to lose you."

"I.." i can't even talk it burns my throat. I drink the water Lip offers and try again. "Did I die?" They look at each other obviously trying to come up with an answer. Well that was the answer. I technically died. I look around for the only face I want to see right now. But I don't see him. "Where is Mickey?" The look to each other again avoiding my eyes. "Were the hell is he?!"

"Just focus on healing right now. The doctor said you were lucky that you didn't need surgery you just lost too much blood which led to your heart to stop beating for a couple of minutes so you might have some heart problems for a bit ok? So we need to focus o.." "I don't care where the hell is Mickey? Is he in the waiting room? I want to see him. No I NEED to see him!" Why the hell are they being like this?

Lip finally says something. "Ian he fucking took off. Ok? Did you really want to hear that!" Took off. What the hell did that mean? He told me he loved me. He probably just needed alone time to think. "He will be back." It came out as a whisper. Fiona always has to chime in when don't need it though. "Ian you lost conciousness as the house and he was out the door before the ambulance even go there. I yelled for him to fucking stay and he didn't. He is GONE ok? He up and left you bleeding on the stairs! There is no excuse for that!" No this is fucking bullshit. Why would he do that? He wouldn't. Right? Not after what has happened. Did I really just get fucked over. I told myself to not forget who he really is and I did. I didn't want to get hurt again but I think I just did. I close my eyes to stop te tears. I'm not crying. Crying. Mickey cried. I saw it when he said he loved me. He does love me. So why did he leave me?

Mickey POV

I hope he going to be ok. I look down at the blood on my clothes. Ians blood. After I started walking it took me eight blocks to realize that I was a mess. I hope nobody called the cops. I ran back to his house and changed. Washed the blood off but I still felt it. The paramedics must have arrived right after I left. Good I just wish I was there but I can't. Not right now.

Now I'm sitting here staring at this run down piece of shit I used to call home. Home. Ha yeah right I never felt at home here. I felt more at home in the hour I spent at Ian's then I did seventeen years here. Ian. If he dies so will I. I can't do it without him. Not anymore. Mandy was right he got under my fucking thick skin and he is never getting out. When he told me he loved me i wanted him to take it back. But now I just hope that he heard me say it back. If he isn't... isn't what? Dead. No he isn't. I just have to know that he wouldn't leave me. He is a fighter and a persistance little shit. He is ok.

But this should have never happened. And that bitch was right it was my fault. I let it all bubble to the surface. Everything that has happened. The look on Ian's face when Iggy stabbed him. On my fathers order no less. Walking up to the door and kicking it in splintered the wood so bad it broke in half. "What the fuck?" My dad is the living room shooting up from the couch. "Good your home."

"Get the fuck out you aren't welcome here!" I look around no guns handy. Good again. But I know he has one in his jeans. Before he thinks to pull it out I rush forward and smash his face with my head. Grabbing his gun before he drops down yelling in pain. "Iggy says hi by the way."

His face darkens. Yeah he knows why I am here. "I heard that fucking ass digger talk all about how he ruined your life. Sending you to juvie. Turning you into a queer. I was doing you a favor! Iggy is on my side Mickey!" I mock laugh as the words hang in the air for a moment. "Oh really I don't see him anywhere." Looking around a little to dramatically knowing Iggy really isn't there. "You know why? Because he is probably in the hospital. Under police protection, hand cuffed to his bed. Attempted murder really fucks up a person's life."

"You did this. It's all your fault!" My fault. Now I am really laughing. "Yeah I hear that a lot. And you're right. It is my fault. I came to you and I threatened you." My voice is dead calm and I have no idea how. With each step forward I hear my voice tightening even more. It's almost hard to speak. "I told you if you ever touched Ian again I would shoot you in the face. I shouldn't have to say if you have somebody do it for you it still FUCKING COUNTS!"

His eyes bug out and holds up his hands. "Mickey come on please! I have only tried to be the best father I could to you kids." What? The best father. How could he even choke up those words? I shut down and raise my hand higher. The gun goes off as my eyes close but I hear the splat. They finally open after minutes of dead silence to see him laying there with blood coming out of the hole in his head. His cold lifeless eyes staring back at me. Terry is dead.


	7. No Rest for the Wicked

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless

Chapter 7: No Rest for the Wicked

Mickey POV

I'm frozen. I can't do anything but stare at him. My own father. What did I just do? It was what I HAD to do right? Looking down I realize I am on my knees. I don't remember how long I have been like this but I know it was while, my legs are numb. So is my mind. My mind feels me getting up but I don't feel it physically. I run. I run as fast as I can. I need to stop but I can't. I finally find a good place to wipe and dump the gun. I start running again until I reach the hospital. I didn't even think as I walked in probably resembling a zombie.

How I asked the nurse where to find Ian I have no idea but now walking through the door I see him. Alive and well. I knew it. I should smile but I can't. I can't even move. He doesn't look up. I hear Lip instead of Ian. "What the hell are you even doing here?" I don't look at anybody I just walk up to the bed. Ian isn't looking at me. He looks mad but I don't know why. He finally looks at me. "Your shaking." His voice is tired and worn. I can't talk. I don't feel like I'm shaking but I raise my hand and it's moving violently.

"Mickey? Talk to me." I look into his eyes and I feel the numbness start to fade. But in the same instant I wish it wouldn't because my mind starts screaming at me. I killed my dad. Am I supposed to just say it? What would he say if he knew? Would he be afraid of me? I back up a step from my thoughts trying to distance myself. "Are you in shock?" It's Lip he sounds close but my eyes don't move. The door opens. "Mickey? Really what the hell?!" Its his sister. "It's about time assface!" And Mandy. Shit really I just need people to stop coming through that damn door now.

I walk a little too fast and slam the door locking it. Good. I sigh and relax my fore head on the door. It feels cool and nice. Fiona starts to go on a little bitch fit but I don't hear the words. Ian tells her to shut up that something is wrong. Shit why did he use those words? "Mickey?" I feel Mandys hand go to my shoulder as she says it. I shrug it off and move from the door pacing around the room not looking at anybody. Shit I am in shock aren't I? I stop at the foot of Ian's bed and look him in the eyes. "Sorry is for shit but I am uh.. you know s-sorry. But I need you to say I was here with you Ian. The entire time."

His confusion is instant. "What does that mean?"Dammit I don't want to be doing this. "It means that after getting shot in the ass to steal your boyfriends shit, I need you to do something for me! Ok Ian just please!"Mandy steps in front of me. "What did you do Mickey?" I can't look at her. "Mickey?"

"I did what I HAD to do!" I am pacing again. "I had to do it!" My hands are in my head now and I feel myself collapse on the floor. My mind was all over the place and it was all hitting me at once. Tears overflow and I furiously try to make them go away. He deserved it why am I feeling like this. For HIM. I don't love him so why? "I did it because he deserved it." I look to the bed to see Ians shocked wide eyes. "Right?"

Ian POV

Mickey "did what he had to do." What the hell does that mean? He collapses to the floor crying. "I did it because he deserved it." What? He didn't kill Terry? No he couldn't have. Could he? He looks at me questioningly. "Right?" Holy Shit. He is asking me if he deserved it. I can't speak. He killed Terry. I look to Mandy and her expression is unreadable. Shit I forgot Lip and Fiona were here. I look at them and I make the decision without thought. "He was here the entire time." I wasn't asking them to do it I was telling them. I can always count on Lip. "Ok." Fiona on the other hand can't. "You two have gone insane. We can't ju.."

"Fiona I fucking died! Sure it was only for minutes bit I technically died. What if I didn't come back? Would it be ok then!" I still don't even know how I am going to deal with Mickey actually doing it but I understand it. I can't really wrap my mind around it right now and I can't look at him because he will see the doubt. The doubt in him and us. "Ok fine he was here!" Fiona left as she said it Lip stayed locking the door back on her way out. Mandy still hasn't said anything and Mickey was still sitting on the floor looking down.

"Mandy?" She is starting to worry me. "Are you ok?" She looks at me and smiles. Not what I was expecting. "My dad is dead. I am actually doing great. You know why? Because he did deserve it." She kneels down to Mickey and forces his face up to hers. "You hear that. He deserved it." Mickey hesitates before he talks. "I know b-but.." He doesn't finish.

"But what?" I ask because I have to know what he is feeling. He pushes Mandy's hands away and gets up turning his back on us. "You two should leave." Shit I don't want to alone with him. Wait where did that come from? He is Mickey. He is the same person. Right? They go out the door as fast as they can not having to be told twice. "Ian I-I need you to tell me everything is going to be ok." I look at him with confusion. He wants reassurance? How can I give him that?

"I don't know that." He sits beside me on the bad and takes my hand. I flinch a little but he doesn't say anything about it.'" I mean us." Oh that is what he wants. "You have to tell me what you were going to say about him deserving it." I felt his hand shake a little. "He did deserve it. You know that too right?" How could he even think that. "Yeah he did but YOU killed him. He deserved to die but you pulled the trigger and I can't wrap my head around that!" He let's go of my hand and gets up. "I did this for you. I did this for us!"

"No don't say that! I can't hear that right now!" He stops and kicks a table over. "But I did Ian and I can't take it back. I fucking love you and he would have been back to finish the job. It was my fault and I had to fix it. But if you want to sit here and judge me I won't fucking be here for it." He heads for the door. Shit. "Wait.. Mickey WAIT!" He doesn't look back and the door slams closed. He is gone again. What am I supposed to do? Fiona comes in before I can think much on this fucked up situation. "Tony is here." He follows right after. Shit I need to clear my head for this. "I'll make this fast don't worry. I talked to Iggy and he told me an interesting story. About Terry and him planning this. Do you know why?"

I just shrug as non chalauntly as i can. "No idea." Just go away already. "So you don't know that they want you dead beacuse of Mickey?" Shit he told him about that. I still just sit looking at my hands wanting this to be over. All I can think about was Mickey. "I went to question Terry and I found him shot in the head." Oh fuck. "So the real question is where is Mickey?"


End file.
